Another Day
I remember when I first met my husband. I had no idea we would ever end up together. Matter of fact I straight told him he was a nice guy but we would not be dating. We hung out together and talked on the phone for hours and hours. Seemed like we were mad in tune and found so many things that we had in common.
He was the first man that I dated that I would allow around my then two year old son. Truly he was the first man that I dated that I did not feel was constantly taking from me. It seemed to be a truly reciprocal relationship. He bought me little things all of the time, took me places and I would never pay a dime, was even free with the cash when I was having a hard time making ends meet.
So now I've got this almost repulsive being who lives in my home who:
- Ain't pulling in dough like he should.
- Ain't trying to do anything about it like we don't need the cash, (while I'm working my regular job and when tax season starts an extra job, and by next month some after work, or my job's version of overtime hours as well).
- Ain't pulling down his share of the home work load, while I'm feeling damn near like a slave (shopping, cooking, cleaning, and whatever else needs to be done).
I mean, WTF. I can't even figure out how this situation was created. All I can say is that after 18 years a relationship grows, evolves and becomes. Bottom line I guess is that I don't like what this shit has become. It is like some new version of crazy.
What totally bugs me out is that he doesn't even seem to realize that something is not right. The fact that the sex life is suffering would that be a clue? I think in his mind I am just being the bitchy wife. How about I am straight tired? How about I feel like I am taking care of another child which happens to be the straight opposite of a turn on. How about this crazy shit has got to stop. If I go shopping can you put the groceries away? If I cook can you clean up the kitchen? Can I get a home cooked meal that I didn't have to cook? I don't even know the last time that happened. So I'm back to my original statement.
If you don't make yourself useful, then what is the use in having you around. If you aren't there when I need you, then why do I need you at all.
posted by B-Nice at
9:50 PM
2 Comments:
It seems like your husband needs to make himself useful. It comes a time when the kids are out of the house and the husband and wife need to start getting to know each other all over again. I think it might be time to get a mutual counselor, one that doesn't know any of you. You can tell him the same thing that a counselor will tell him, but he hears it differently when you say it. Try the counseling before giving up completely. He needs to change in order to adjust to your change and the change in the relationship. If you tell him that, then you're nagging and being a B*tch, but if a counselor tells him, then it's something he needs to work on. See what I'm saying...?
By
Anonymous, at 9/26/2005 9:56 AM
Co-sign to the counseling. He needs to hear it from an objective perspective, because he has had practice pointing the finger back at you when you try to tell him anything. Sounds like a bad case of being trapped in a comfort zone to me. But it could also be a disguise for some things going on his mind - you know how men sometimes want you to pick a fight, so they can have a reason to bring things up? Instead of, God forbid, just talking to you?? I don't know. But this is a time where you really cannot afford to let sleeping dogs lie.
By
DramaQueen, at 9/27/2005 3:56 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home