B-Nice

8/17/2005

Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People

I know this must sound like an age old question, but sometimes you just have to ask why. WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?

No one questions why good things happen to bad people. But they happen every day. Persons who are least deserving of good fortune seem to have blessings showered upon them endlessly. Okay maybe in the movies you see the dirty dog get what's coming to him in the end. Scarface does die in the end, shot to shit in the mansion that all his money built. Nino Brown gets shot to shit in the courthouse. And the list goes on. But truthfully how many people do you know who deserve the same or similar fates just running around as my husband would say "happy as a faggot in boys town". They're as happy as can be without a care in the world.

There is no real answer of course but sometimes it is something to think about. This question comes to mind repeatedly when I think of my friend E in LA. A week ago I got an email from her requesting prayer with her most recent misfortune. Her oldest daughter was pregnant with her first grandchild and the baby was lost during childbirth. Needless to say her daughter is taking it very hard and of course my prayers go out to her and her family. But this is just her latest misfortune. I love her to death but she seems to have a trouble magnet attached to her life . And it just bugs me out. I mean seriously, I just don't get it.

Back tracking for a minute to our friendship. I first met her about 20 years ago when she came to New York from Los Angeles to live with my son's father. My son was less than 6 months old at the time. NO I did not want to like her. NO I did not want to know her. NO I did not want her to exist. I was a new mom who's baby's daddy was ready to move on. YES we broke up during the pregnancy. YES I should have been moving on with my life. NO I was not over him. She already had two children. Her oldest daughter who was back home with her mom and a son 3 months older than my son.

How did we become friends you might ask? It's not every day that women who have had a relationship with the same man can become friends and maintain a friendship that lasts longer than their relationship with the man. She has the sweetest spirit about her. If you get to know her you can't help but like her. That's the kind of person she is. I know that she is far nicer and has a sweeter spirit than I can even pretend to have. But yet I repeat she seems to have trouble magnet attached to her life. When she came here her son was only slightly older than mine so she too was not with her baby's daddy. She had met him in church, married him and he completely flaked out on her. She knew my son's father from their home country of Belize and they had dated before he came to the US. He claimed he still cared for her and as things were not working out with her husband she left LA and came to NY to live with him. Her oldest daughter who was conceived the very first time she had sex was at home in Belize with her mom. Talk about messed up. But she came here and as time passed we actually became very good friends. And when the baby's daddy reverted to true form as Trifling A$$ Ni**ers always do we often had long discussions about his trifling a$$.


She doesn't give up and she doesn't stay down for long. Her second marriage, another man she met at her church, ended when her husband stepped out on her and conceived a child with a woman who could literally be described as an irresponsible, crackhead. He's gone and she is basically raising his daughter by another woman who is incapable of provided adequate care for the child.

Less than two years ago her son at the age of 19 died while away at school in a tragic car accident. I spoke to her two days after the death to confirm the funeral arrangements so that I could attend the funeral with my son who was like a brother to her son, she told me that she thanked God that day for 19 years that she had her son. At the funeral she was gracious and composed, and not only was her son's father there, but also my son's father and her last husband as well. Might I add that she is also a Triflling A$$ Ni**er magnet.

Last year when I visited LA she was in the midst of a court battle with her son's father. He has never paid child support on any regular basis, was delinquent in child support to the tune of thousands of dollars but still felt for some reason he was entitled to half of the insurance money that was paid out from the car accident and was used to cover the funeral expenses. Did I already say Trifling A$$ Ni**er?

I don't know how she deals with it all. I know she has a strong faith. She actually helped me to learn how to pray. She has endured it all so she is incredibly strong. I'm just saying I don't think I could have taken all that she has and kept my head up. I would be screaming, and cursing, ranting and raving. She's kind, she's sweet, and giving through it all. Why her and not me? Why should she have to constantly deal with adversity after adversity? Most of all when will it be her turn to have some happiness that endures in her life?


WHY OH WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?

8/08/2005

Women Love Romance, Men Love Porn

Does sex rule the world?

Yesterday, I watched "Shall We Dance" with Richard Gere for the 2nd time in a week. I rented it last week from Blockbuster. As I lay there watching him all tuxed up and presenting his wife with a single red rose prior to waltzing her around in a department store, I thought again how much I love romances. Give me a good romance any day. I can watch them over and over again. Sometimes I am so depressed with the unromantic state of my own life that I can just OD on romance after romance. My husband and son will come in the room and say something to the effect of DAMN, YOU WATCHING THAT $HIT AGAIN. HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO WATCH THAT?

This always gets me to thinking about why I like romance so much. I always have loved romance. Started with romance novels way back, moved on to movies and such. I guess I love them so much because they fulfill my basic need to be romanced. Lord knows I don't get much of it in my personal life. My husband is not much for romance. Can't really blame him for not knowing, they hardly every know anything that you don't come straight out and tell them.


I don't know if I really thought about it much before but lately it seems to be on my mind alot. I think at 40+ I need romance and am not sure how to get it.

Men on the other hand love porn. If I were to assume what goes on in their minds, I would have to assume that porn fulfills the need for fantasy in a man's mind the same way romance fulfills the need for fantasy in a woman's mind. At the end of the day they are both sexual in nature. Whether overt or implied the sex is still there.

DAMN, I missed my own point. Maybe sex does rule the world!!

8/06/2005

W T F

S0, it's Saturday, August 6th and it feels like the summer is over. How does it happen so quickly every year? The school year ends, late June, and summer just flies right by.

S0, I went on a cruise, worked a couple of hours, took a tax course, and have some training planned in a couple of weeks. And I guess that's good. I do feel like I accomplished something.

But I did not paint my bathroom, or the rest of my house. I did not even clean that beotch. I also did not go for a Spa day that I promised myself and that was something that I actually wanted to do. The things that I really hate to do, well it's no surprise that I didn't do them but what about the things I actually wanted to do. Why didn't they get done? I mean like I said WTF!! Why do I sometimes have problems with follow through? AM I LAZY? Not really, well not more than any other human being. WTF!! Does anybody have the answer? Cause I sure don't.