The Politician

OK, I know I'm late with this but it seems like even with a broken ankle and nothing but time to watch TV I still can't keep up with my TV viewing in a timely fashion. I do digress but to get to my point. Today I watched the Oprah Winfrey interview of Andrew Young and his wife and my thought seems to be that I think he and his wife have got to be kidding me.

I'm supposed to believe that John Edwards is this huge pathological liar (which he is) and no one can argue that point after watching him boldly lie over and over about his baby with the Hunter chick. But I'm also supposed to believe that after they lied for him and covered for him and claimed somebody else's baby for him and let the Hunter chick live with them that they are now telling the truth. I mean after all they only did it to protect the dying (but not dead) Elizabeth Edwards. Pardon me but I call bullsh*t.

So I'm thinking, you knew John Edwards was cheating on his ill wife. You knew the sh*t was about to hit the fan. You knew there was no way that he was getting out of the deep doo doo this time. You knew that either way you could get paid at the end of the day. You could get paid by holding it over the "president's" head that you knew where the skeletons were buried because you buried them for him or you could get paid by telling everyone all about the skeletons that you helped to bury. Either way liar, liar pants and skirt on fire. You should burn with John Edwards for trying to get a lying sack of sh*t elected to be president or any other position of power for that matter. You should burn with him for now getting paid on lies and more lies. I've lost count of the lying, cheating politicians sitting in positions of power in our country. I guess it's true. Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts, ABSOLUTELY.

If It Wasn't For Bad Luck...

I wouldn't have any luck at all. Isn't that how the old saying goes? At this point I'm wondering if luck has anything to do with it. As if the fall wasn't bad enough, just my luck and it was broke. Not even a bad break, but bad enough to need a cast and a crutch and now a boot. And if a leg had to be messed up, my luck it had to be my driving leg to make me dependent on others for almost everything. *sigh*

It has definitely been an interesting 6 weeks. Maybe interesting isn't quite the adjective that I need to describe this experience. Annoying, Frustrating, Nerve Wracking ... Yeah those seem like more appropriate adjectives for how this has been for me. Good news is I'm still here. Yes, I'm annoyed. Yes, I'm frustrated. Yes, I feel a little trapped in a never ending cycle of nothing. But, I'm alive, my husband is here for me and for real, it could be worse.

Day 38

So...On January 14th, while simply walking to my car, I stepped on something and found myself lying on the ground. I am one of those people who seems to twist my ankle fairly easily and assumed that I had twisted my ankle, AGAIN. I went home and iced and wrapped and elevated and ibuprofened myself in my usual manner.

The next day the pain was still very bad, I could not put weight on my foot and carried myself off to my doctor for xrays. I was seriously surprised when I found out that the ankle bone was chipped and more than a little disturbed to have to go to the emergency room to get it splinted.

The next week I went from splint to cast and 2 weeks later I went from cast to walking boot. Gotta say this experience has been a bit frustrating for me. I'm a pretty busy person who is pretty much always on the go with my calendar filled with appointments and events and obligations. Sitting in my recliner with my leg up or laying in the bed with my leg up pretty much tears my nerves. Not being able to take myself where I want to go, when I want to go and do what I want to do pretty much makes me want to fall on a sword. *sigh*

Now it seems as though I am at the mercy of the doctor's schedule. I was supposed to go for a follow up appointment last week but received a phone call saying the doctor needed to reschedule only to receive another phone call later on the week to reschedule again. Pretty frustrating for me to say the least.

Never the less I am thankful. I'm thankful to be alive. I'm thankful to have a husband who has done his best to take care of my needs during this time. He calls it driving Miss Bernie. LOL. I'm thankful that I have friends and family that check up on me and even take me out of my house from time to time. I'm thankful to have a son who insists on calling me every day. Thankful, Thankful, Thankful.

Ummmmm...Not Guilty...For Real???

So...After many months the Brooklyn cops accused of sodomizing a Brooklyn man after picking him up for smoking weed on a subway platform were found not guilty. In 2010 it is still the same. Even with DNA evidence on the cops baton...not guilty. Even after one of the cops involved broke the blue wall of silence and admitted that the dude did it and the others tried to cover it up...not guilty. Pretty much Rodney King all over again. Proof of the crime but when its cops...not guilty. I'm done. *SMH*

What I Heard Him Say

One more 'gain on Tiger's Public Apology. He went on for 13 minutes and said I'm sorry several different ways but what I heard was...

Good morning, and thank you for joining me. Many of you in this room are my friends. Many of you in this room know me. Many of you have cheered for me or you've worked with me or you've supported me.

If I have to do this, at least let me do it in front of people who may cut me a break.

Now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me. I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in.

You are right to be pissed but I am sorry.

I know people want to find out how I could be so selfish and so foolish. People want to know how I could have done these things to my wife Elin and to my children. And while I have always tried to be a private person, there are some things I want to say.

Everybody is dying to know what the real deal is. I mean what in the world was I thinking.

Elin and I have started the process of discussing the damage caused by my behavior. As Elin pointed out to me, my real apology to her will not come in the form of words; it will come from my behavior over time. We have a lot to discuss; however, what we say to each other will remain between the two of us.

My wife is finally speaking to me again. And if I want her to keep talking to me I better straighten up and fly right and not embarrass her with more of this.

I am also aware of the pain my behavior has caused to those of you in this room. I have let you down, and I have let down my fans. For many of you, especially my friends, my behavior has been a personal disappointment. To those of you who work for me, I have let you down personally and professionally. My behavior has caused considerable worry to my business partners.

I done messed up for real with everyone I know. I can barely show my face in public right now.

To everyone involved in my foundation, including my staff, board of directors, sponsors, and most importantly, the young students we reach, our work is more important than ever. Thirteen years ago, my dad and I envisioned helping young people achieve their dreams through education. This work remains unchanged and will continue to grow. From the Learning Center students in Southern California to the Earl Woods scholars in Washington, D.C., millions of kids have changed their lives, and I am dedicated to making sure that continues.

People are withholding their contributions to my charity and now even the kids ain't feeling me cause I cut off their money flow too. Now I'm gonna really have to come out of my own pocket and ends is tight for me too.

But still, I know I have bitterly disappointed all of you. I have made you question who I am and how I could have done the things I did. I am embarrassed that I have put you in this position. For all that I have done, I am so sorry.

Now everyone is giving me the side eye. Again, everybody wants to know what was I thinking. Let me say it again, I'm sorry.

I have a lot to atone for, but there is one issue I really want to discuss. Some people have speculated that Elin somehow hurt or attacked me on Thanksgiving night. It angers me that people would fabricate a story like that. Elin never hit me that night or any other night. There has never been an episode of domestic violence in our marriage, ever. Elin has shown enormous grace and poise throughout this ordeal. Elin deserves praise, not blame.

Stop saying my wife was trying to hit me like a golf ball. Ya'll are pissing me off with that. We don't get down like that.

The issue involved here was my repeated irresponsible behavior. I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated. What I did is not acceptable, and I am the only person to blame.

It's not about her, it was me, all me. (*Side Note - That line right there sounded like the one you get when the dude is trying to let you down easy. You know the one. It's not you babe it's me.

I stopped living by the core values that I was taught to believe in. I knew my actions were wrong, but I convinced myself that normal rules didn't apply. I never thought about who I was hurting. Instead, I thought only about myself. I ran straight through the boundaries that a married couple should live by. I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to. I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt I was entitled. Thanks to money and fame, I didn't have to go far to find them.

I'm a selfish a**. My father is rolling over in his grave right now cause I got caught out there like my parents ain't teach me no better. I let my little head run sh*t cause for real I felt like I had it like that.

I was wrong. I was foolish. I don't get to play by different rules. The same boundaries that apply to everyone apply to me. I brought this shame on myself. I hurt my wife, my kids, my mother, my wife's family, my friends, my foundation, and kids all around the world who admired me.

Not that I'm caught out there I guess I wasn't really all that after all. Now I got to suffer in front of everyone. If I was really Japanese the eleders might be making me fall on my sword behind this bullsh*t.

I've had a lot of time to think about what I've done. My failures have made me look at myself in a way I never wanted to before. It's now up to me to make amends, and that starts by never repeating the mistakes I've made. It's up to me to start living a life of integrity.

Since nobody ain't talking to me that I really want to talk to, I've had nothing but time to think about how much I done f*cked up. Now I gotta figure out how to fix this d*mn mess I done made. Gotta figure out how to make people trust me again now that my lies is all out there.

I once heard, and I believe it's true, it's not what you achieve in life that matters; it's what you overcome. Achievements on the golf course are only part of setting an example. Character and decency are what really count.

Let me try this one. It's not my golf achievments that really matters, it's how I'm going to come back behind this colossal fiasco that folk are really gonna remember. (Nope, you will forever be known as the rich dude who screwed everyone he could)

Parents used to point to me as a role model for their kids. I owe all those families a special apology. I want to say to them that I am truly sorry.

I was on that role model pedestal and now I'm the dude that screwed up royally. One more time, I'm sorry.

It's hard to admit that I need help, but I do. For 45 days from the end of December to early February, I was in inpatient therapy receiving guidance for the issues I'm facing. I have a long way to go. But I've taken my first steps in the right direction.

Hi, I'm Tiger and I'm a Sexaholic. I ain't had none for 45 days and it' gonna be more than a minute before I can get some again.

As I proceed, I understand people have questions. I understand the press wants to ask me for the details and the times I was unfaithful. I understand people want to know whether Elin and I will remain together. Please know that as far as I'm concerned, every one of these questions and answers is a matter between Elin and me. These are issues between a husband and a wife.

All the business ya'll want to know, forget it. That's between me and my wife and ya'll ain't gonna hear it from me ever.

Some people have made up things that never happened. They said I used performance enhancing drugs. This is completely and utterly false. Some have written things about my family. Despite the damage I have done, I still believe it is right to shield my family from the public spotlight. They did not do these things; I did.

Stop trying to lump me with the other sports figures on Steroids and stop messing with my family cause of how I screwed up.

I have always tried to maintain a private space for my wife and children. They have been kept separate from my sponsors, my commercial endorsements. When my children were born, we only released photographs so that the paparazzi could not chase them. However, my behavior doesn't make it right for the media to follow my two and a half year old daughter to school and report the school's location. They staked out my wife and they pursued my mom. Whatever my wrongdoings, for the sake of my family, please leave my wife and kids alone.

Ya'll know I hate having ya'll sweating my family. I gave ya'll pictures and that's all ya'll need. Leave my family alone already.

I recognize I have brought this on myself, and I know above all I am the one who needs to change. I owe it to my family to become a better person. I owe it to those closest to me to become a better man. That's where my focus will be.

I know this all my fault but cut me some slack already.

I have a lot of work to do, and I intend to dedicate myself to doing it. Part of following this path for me is Buddhism, which my mother taught me at a young age. People probably don't realize it, but I was raised a Buddhist, and I actively practiced my faith from childhood until I drifted away from it in recent years. Buddhism teaches that a craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security. It teaches me to stop following every impulse and to learn restraint. Obviously I lost track of what I was taught.

I'm turning back to Buddha. Buddha could have kept me on track.

As I move forward, I will continue to receive help because I've learned that's how people really do change. Starting tomorrow, I will leave for more treatment and more therapy. I would like to thank my friends at Accenture and the players in the field this week for understanding why I'm making these remarks today.

Folk can change. Going back to rehab now.

In therapy I've learned the importance of looking at my spiritual life and keeping in balance with my professional life. I need to regain my balance and be centered so I can save the things that are most important to me, my marriage and my children.

Gonna balance everything better in the future. Didn't really mean to mess up like this.

That also means relying on others for help. I've learned to seek support from my peers in therapy, and I hope someday to return that support to others who are seeking help. I do plan to return to golf one day, I just don't know when that day will be.

I'm doing the therapy thing right now. Not sure how long I have to do this before I can get back to what I do.

I don't rule out that it will be this year. When I do return, I need to make my behavior more respectful of the game. In recent weeks I have received many thousands of emails, letters and phone calls from people expressing good wishes. To everyone who has reached out to me and my family, thank you. Your encouragement means the world to Elin and me.

Maybe this year. Gotta judge how the mail is going. I still have some folk rooting for me.

I want to thank the PGA TOUR, Commissioner Finchem, and the players for their patience and understanding while I work on my private life. I look forward to seeing my fellow players on the course.

Gotta thank my sponsors and peers. I know I'm hurting the game all around since I am the big draw. I'll be back.

Finally, there are many people in this room, and there are many people at home who believed in me. Today I want to ask for your help. I ask you to find room in your heart to one day believe in me again.

I know I destroyed the trust of a bunch of people. I hope ya'll can forgive and forget.

Thank you.

I'm out.

Public ... Private

So....Yesterday, Tiger Woods decided or maybe was convinced that he needed to bow down to the public and apologize behind his numerous acts of infidelity that came to light following an incident at his home the day after Thanksgiving. He got to join the long list of those who have been placed on a pedestal only to come tumbling down by being just a little bit too human. In my honest opinion after viewing the statement that he gave I'm thinking he could have saved his energy. First because it really didn't seem authentic and second because I really don't care.

Now Tiger is supposed to be this very private person who has given lots of effort to maintaining his and his family's privacy. No wonder, dude seems to have more skeletons than a little bit running around in his closet. Indeed in his press conference he spoke alot about what he feels is private and between him and his wife, Elin. Him being a sports figure, I feel like he is more than entitled to his privacy. However, it never ceases to amaze me that folk think they are entitled to know every detail of the private life of every person who they see through the lens of a camera. *SMH* Do you really need to know all of Tiger's personal business because he is a really good golfer? I mean for real, he ain't Rev. Tiger Woods and even if he was he still would just be human. Why does it really matter to you if he cheated on his wife? And are you really gonna stop buying Nike products because of his unfaithfulness? I like my Nike footwear and I'm not really thinking about who Tiger was screwing when I go to buy my cross trainers.

But this whole business did get my husband and I to discussing the difference between the public face and the private persona. I insist that most of us are not that different from the celebrities that some of us are so quick to crucify when their humanity is publicly revealed. Most of us have our work face, our friend face, our family face, maybe a church face and then there is the face that only we know. Maybe we are ashamed of that face or maybe we think that face won't be popular. Who knows but I really believe most folk got that other face. Think of all the crazies in the world. When they reveal their crazy, what is usually the first thing that friends, family and neighbors say. He/She was such a nice ... Now they had a really great public face but their private persona was just a bit nuts.

For the average Joe this public/private thing will never get splashed across the television screen or make the front page of the newspaper but I know it has caused a holiday dinner argument or two. Or maybe it has caused more than one school/street fight in the hood. I know a few folk have gotten cursed out behind being two-faced and for real isn't that all it really is. I really want people to stop acting like the folk who constantly get splashed across various media are not just people. They eat, they sleep, they bleed, they cry, they cheat and evidently more than a few have two or more faces. Don't you???

To Be ... or Not To Be

So it has been more than 2 years since I have even attempted to update this blog. It was a cute fad and then it was time consuming and for real I would rather watch TV than write which is evidenced by the fact that I broke my ankle over a month ago, have been in the house almost steadily for over a month and all I do is watch TV. I could have read...but I did not. I could have written on this blog...but I did not. So is there a point to this blog for me.

BTW I actually have 2 other blogs that I don't keep up with either. One is a library blog and the other is a weight loss blog. One was created with the thought that it would be a work related blog where I would read and review books that might be of interest to my students at John Philip Sousa Middle School. I thought it might be useful to them and encourage me to read more books. Fail on both accounts. The second was created when I went back on Weight Watchers AGAIN with another attempt to take off the weight. I was better with that one but eventually it to seems to be another FAIL.


Things that make you go...hmmmm. I'm gonna mull this one over, attempt to revive the blog possibly and try not to ramble.